


That was supposed to be me, not him.

by angelofthenightposts



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 12:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20243107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthenightposts/pseuds/angelofthenightposts
Summary: where Sebastian is jealous of the new man in your life, but as a friend, he has no choice but to act like he’s happy for you.





	That was supposed to be me, not him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you for reading it, I hope you like it. You can find me on Tumblr, @angelofthenightposts

Sebastian watched you getting ready in front of the mirror, his back leaning against the headboard, the pillow, you always slept with, was in his arms. He didn’t know you had plans to go out when he came to your door with a hot and delicious pizza. When you gave him an apologizing look, he had set aside his discouraged enthusiasm, everything he had planned for you two tonight. He couldn’t help but gave you an understanding look, who could have looked at your face and be angry? Your hair falling like a waterfall on your bare shoulders, your face shone under the light, and a smile on your lips that you hadn’t put on red lipstick yet, your signature. He tried to ignore the sense of jealousy that wanted to control his entire body and turned away to go back to his home on the other side of town. Before he walked into the elevator, you called right behind him and told that you had some time before you left the house and invited him in. He walked in through the door, begging God for your date standing you up so you could spend the night together.

He met Harry, the guy you were about to have dinner with, a few weeks ago. But it wasn’t because you thought things between you got serious and you wanted to introduce him to your friends, it happened randomly. Sebastian decided to have a drink with his co-stars from his latest movie, and as soon as he stepped in, he noticed you in the crowd; you two were very busy lately and couldn’t meet for weeks so he was happy to see you. The man who touched the small of your back lightly and whispered something in your ear that made you laugh so hard came into view very much later and the smile that appeared on his face was instantly faded. Although he wanted to approach you and wanted to know who the man was, he remembered how shy and uncomfortable you could be in such situations; so he left you and your friend alone. All night, his gaze never left you, almost ignoring his own friends and at such a moment like this, you turned your head slightly to the left as if you felt his gaze, your eyes met with his. A couple of minutes later, with a wide grin, you approached him with your friend and let them meet. Harry introduced himself, saying that he was a big Marvel fan – especially Bucky Barnes- and that he was eager for the next movie, but he couldn’t get the warm response he expected from Sebastian. A tense smile on his face, Harry went back to your old seats with you, but no matter how crowded the pub was, he could feel deathful glares on himself. Yes, Sebastian hated him, not because Harry was where he wanted to be. There were people just like Harry around him, and Sebastian knew exactly what he wanted from you. But instead of saying anything about it and upsetting you, he kept his mouth shut and waited for you to see his real face. And now, only God and he knew how much he regretted his decision.

He tried to put aside his hatred for the man and turned his gaze back on you; he could feel your excitement as you tried to put on the small and cute necklace. You were looking gorgeous, different than he’d see you in; a black dress and heels rather than a comfy short shorts and a t-shirt. He didn’t know which one of you he liked the most. He loved seeing you in your comfort zone, a messy bun and usual comfy pyjamas. But he liked that you could be more beautiful -he didn’t know it was possible- with a little effort for such evenings. He had met you two years ago at a birthday party of his close friend, and since then he knew that you weren’t lucky at relationships. He knew that he had to be happy for you after you said that maybe there was something serious between you and Harry. You had finally met someone, and this was the first time you looked so happy. Sebastian should’ve been happy as a friend of yours, so why did he feel terrible as he watched you getting ready for another man?

You threw a glance at your friend who didn’t accompany your excitement about tonight; you had never seen him so upset before. Your brows plunged into a deep frown; you put the necklace aside and walked to the edge of the bed. You tried to figure out if he was upset because you had a date tonight or if he couldn’t cuddle you during the movie. You knew Sebastian didn’t like Harry; he’d made you feel it the moment they met. You also knew that every time Harry’s name was mentioned in the conversation, he immediately pouted his face and tried to regain your attention. You just thought that he wanted to be your main focus; because he had already made it clear that there would be nothing more between you. You tried not to see him more than a friend to avoid losing him, it was hard, you weren’t sure you could still succeed it, but there was nothing you could do.

“You’re still mad at me about tonight.”Sebastian kept his gaze low instead of looking at you and continued to play with your pillow, a habit of him when he was restless. He would pull the closest thing to him and start moving it between his fingers; it would be often your hair or your fingers. You would try to ignore the fingers that massage your hair roots or his body very close to you and try to comfort him.

“No, no, I shouldn’t have come here without letting you know.” You rolled your eyes when Sebastian answered with a deep sigh. “I just didn’t know you had plans for tonight.”

"Don’t be silly, that’s why I gave you the spare key so that you can come here anytime you want.” When you became close friends, you exchanged keys, a sign that you trusted each other. You used yours to stay-over at his place after getting drunk and to plan a surprise birthday party for him. And Sebastian stayed at your place whenever he felt bad or he didn’t want to stay alone. He would fall asleep in your arms in the middle of the movie. He was the reason why you replaced the old and small couch in the living room for a new and comfortable one just so he could sleep well.

“We’re not going to have a movie and pizza night, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. We can even watch that stupid romantic comedy movie you talk about all the time.” Instead of answering you, Sebastian nodded softly. You wanted to push his hairs falling on his forehead back, -he was trying to grow his hair for a new project- and look at his beautiful face to see his reaction. Instead, you gently squeezed his knee and smiled when his eyes instantly meet yours, “I might be late tonight, don’t wait for me, okay?” 

Sebastian wasn’t so sure that you would come back tonight; maybe Harry would invite you to his house for a cup of coffee and do his best to finish the night in his bed, or any surface in his house. He hated his imagination; he hated Harry for being the luckiest guy alive. He hated you for putting the finishing touches in front of the mirror while he struggled with his own thoughts.

Xxxxx

Half an hour after you left the house, Sebastian didn’t know what to do, and he walked around the house, he took a slice of the pizza he had left on the dining table, knowing very well it had already cooled down. When the bite left a taste like straw in his mouth, he grimaced, tossed the slice into the box and walked into the kitchen to find a drink. The first thing that caught his eyes was the red stand mixer in the right corner of the kitchen counter; when you moved into this house, you two went shopping to buy a few pieces of art for the walls and coffee table and instead, you returned home with it. Sebastian teased you that you would never use it, that he had never seen you make dessert, you stuck your tongue out and said you had a reason to start. Even though he was sure that it would remain as a decor in the corner of the kitchen, you somehow managed to surprise him with a lot of recipes you’d find on the internet. So another tradition had begun, even though it cost you dozens of burnt or unsavoury cupcakes, you finally managed to be a good duo in the kitchen. You two became responsible to bake a cake for birthday parties.

With a silly smile on his face, his blue eyes stuck to countless photos, magnets on the refrigerator this time as he sipped the energy drink. A photo from the last vacation you had with your family, a photo of your childhood pet – a dog named Poky-; dozens of photos taken with your group of friends took their place among the bills and other papers. Sebastian squinted and looked at the photo at the corner more carefully, surprised that he hadn’t noticed it before. It was from his birthday; he leaned forward to blow out the candles, his eyes closed, and you were standing right next to him with a close friend of Sebastian’s. Although he had dozens of photos and videos of that day, he didn’t have any photo of you grinning at him happily. He immediately took out his phone and took the photo. After making sure it looked good to add it among others at his home, he left the kitchen.

Sebastian groaned and turned to the other side when vibrations tried to pull him out of his sleep into the real world. Although he pressed his cheek more on the soft pillow and tried to return to his dream, it didn’t stop and he finally gave in, opened his eyes. He didn’t know when he’d come to your bed or fell asleep but he liked the scent of your shampoo and perfume on him. He unwillingly lifted his head from the pillow and tried to find his phone between sheets. The bright screen hurt his sleepy eyes, he blinked a few times with a little curse, and when he saw your name on the screen, his heart skipped a beat. He had no idea what time it was, but he was sure it was pretty late; he didn’t know how long he’d been asleep. Frightened, he answered the call, “Y/N?“He sat up as he cleared his throat to fix his raspy voice. When the silence was the only answer he could get, he looked at the screen once more to see if he missed the call. When the possibility of butt dialling was replaced by the idea that something bad had happened to you and that you needed his help, he feared and tried his luck again, “Y/N? Are you there?”

First, he heard a little rustling as if you were picking up the phone, and when your voice finally reached his ears, Sebastian’s heart broke into thousands of tiny pieces. Whenever you had the flu or cried, you sounded like this, and for now, he decided to go with the second option. “Yes, I’m here.” He could tell how drunk you were, you were slurring some words, waiting before speak some more as if you didn’t know English. You added after sniffing, “I need you, Sebastian.“

Xxxxxx

I need you. That was the sentence that Sebastian had in mind as he headed for the address you sent. Although he was grateful that you were living on a busy street and he could find a taxi right away, he was worried about the rain that hit the windshield of the yellow car. He prayed to God that you would be waiting for him in a dry and safe place, he knew how much you liked the rainy days but this wasn’t a time to stand under it and get wet.

“Can you drive a little faster?” When he leaned forward and asked the taxi driver, the man looked at him uneasily in the rear-view mirror and muttered something about how slippery the roads were. At another day, Sebastian wouldn’t insist and would sit back in the back seat, nodding. But now, he had chosen to promise the driver that he would pay twice. When the driver accelerated, he took a deep breath and turned his gaze out the window.

He could guess Harry was the reason why you were a mess, no, he was sure, no one else could be. Could he have stood you up like Sebastian had hoped he’d do? In that case, you would come back to your house and talk about how disgusting men were and that you’d never want to meet someone again. Sebastian would chuckle at you and joked about he’s the best man for you, and wait for your reaction. When he thought that Harry might have forced you to do something you didn’t want, Sebastian shut his eyes and his hands resting open on his jeans turned into fists. The bar you were going out was on the other side of the city, and this fact corroborated Sebastian’s theory about going to his house and made him angry. He knew what a strong woman you were, but he was sceptical about what you could do if he didn’t take no for an answer. He put his left foot on an imaginary and invisible accelerator pedal; he couldn’t wait to pull you into the arms.

“Wait for me here, I’ll be back with my friend soon.” When Sebastian stepped out of the taxi without waiting for an answer, he looked around. He saw you sitting on the steps of a building as he pulled his phone out to ask where you were. His heart was about to fly out of his chest as he crossed the street, regardless of the rain.

“Y/N!“ When you heard his voice, you looked up and saw Sebastian running towards you. Your body was exhausted to stand up and hug him,-that was all you wanted to do at that moment, - and you watched him come to the corner where you snag down because of the rain. His wet clothes already clinging onto his body, and his hairs had fallen on his forehead instead of its usual style. When Sebastian climbed two steps and kneeled before you, he immediately cupped your face in his hands and lifted your head up. You could guess what kind of horrible thought he had on his mind; you knew his blue eyes staring at you were to check if you had any wounds. Aware that he could see the frustration and sadness in your gaze, you tried to turn your eyes away from him, but Sebastian’s fingers on your jaw didn’t allow it. When you saw the fear and worry in his eyes, you nibbled your bottom lip and let your tears come back to the surface. Isn’t that what you’ve done best in the last half hour?

"What’s going on? Did he do something bad to you? ” When Sebastian pushed your wet hair back, he cursed himself for not bringing a jacket; and for the first time, you noticed that you were ice cold. You could feel the heat radiating from his fingertips to your skin, inhaling the familiar Tom Ford scent from his skin. His scent mixed with fresh grass calmed you a little bit; you reached out to him, wrapped your arm around his neck and put your head on his shoulder. You shook your head as an answer when you felt his body stiffened by his anxiety and tension, and his relieved breath tickled the right side of your neck. A hiccup escaped your throat; Sebastian slowly moved his hand up and down on your back. “I’m sorry; you don’t have to tell me. I am here. I am here.”

“Thank you.“ Sebastian tried to stop the tears by biting the inside of his cheek as the misery of your voice caused a knot to form in both of your throats. He knew it would be even worse if you saw him crying so he stayed there, waiting for you to calm down while letting the worst thoughts run in his brain. “The taxi is waiting for us, let me take you home.”

You nodded at his offer, aware of you had to pull back and get your bag and stand up, but this was the first time you felt peaceful and safe all night long. Sebastian must have felt it, which he embraced you and slowly stood up. You let him carry you into a cab, burying your face more onto his chest without trying to hide your tears. Sebastian bent down and whispered in your ear as he thought about how he could protect you from the rain, “I’m here, everything will be fine. I promise you, angel. ”


End file.
